...and baby makes 4!

The REAL reason I started "Dioring" again... ;)

Well, the cat's finally out of the bag! Most of you have probably heard that we are expecting a new little addition to our family! We waited until after my 10 week appoitment last Tuesday to tell everyone...I really didn't think I could keep my mouth shut that long! Quite amazing...

Most of you know of our two year roller-coaster trying to get pregnant with no success (including two miscarriages). After some blood work was done earlier this year, my doctor discovered that my progesterone levels were extremely low...basically non-existant. Progesterone is the hormone needed to not only conceive a baby but also to sustain a pregnancy. So, that is why we were having so much trouble conceiving, and when I did conceive, I wasn't producing enough progesterone to stay pregnant. I was then prescribed Clomid - a fertility drug - in January. Since we had already planned and booked a Disneyland vacation this coming October for Livia's 5th birthday, Jaron and I decided to hold off on getting pregnant for a couple of months so I wouldn't be due during this time. I never even picked up the prescription because of this. Well, God had his own plans for me... I got pregnant anyway! I was a little worried that I had gotten pregnant without the Clomid because of my low progesterone levels. I called my doctor after I got my first positive test result and I was immediately put on progesterone supplements. I have to take them every night until I am 12 weeks along and my placenta takes over making the progesterone on its own. Because it is a hormone, the side effects basically just exacerbate my normal pregnancy symptoms, making me more tired, nauseous, etc. But so far, they are doing the trick! As long as I stay pregnant, I am not going to complain.

Because of all of this, we were a little more hesitant to tell everyone so soon this time. We decided to wait until we saw the baby's heartbeat on an ultrasound. With my second pregnancy in 2007, we took Livia with us to that first appointment (which was on my birthday) of course not thinking that anything would be wrong. When the doctor did the ultrasound, there was a baby, but no heartbeat. This of course was an incredibly devastating situation to be in, but what made it unbearable was having Livia there with us. I was trying so hard not to get too upset (as I didn't want to upset her) but I couldn't help just absolutely breaking down. I wanted to make sure that we didn't put Livia, ourselves, or anyone else in that situation again. This time, we even kept Livia in the dark about becoming a big sister until we knew everything was ok (she was left with grandma for the first appointment). Thank goodness we had nothing to fear this time around. Not only did we see the little heartbeat fluttering away on the ultrasound, we also saw little JJ kicking his legs and waving his arms! Amazing, seeing that I was only 10 weeks along and the baby was no bigger than a grape.

So, JJ is the name I so affectionately call my little peanut, which of course stands for Jaron Jr). This will not be the baby's name, but until that is figured out, this is what I have decided to call him (much to Jaron's chagrin). I say "him" because this baby surely must be a boy. I have NEVER been so hungry, no starving, wait...no, RAVENOUS as I have been so far in this pregnancy. I get to the point where I feel so sick that if I don't eat I feel like I'm going to kill someone (well, not really, but you know what I mean). And then I get sick BECAUSE I ate...it's a vicious cycle. Every two hours. I must eat. There must be food available to me at all times, because I never know... Honestly, I feel like a crazy person.

For example, two weeks ago we went to church (I ate before we left but pretty early on in the morning) and of course, the service ran late. We then had to go to the grocery store to buy a few things for a salad that I needed to make for dinner to take to my mom's that afternoon. By the time we got to the store, I was starving. I was surrounded by all of this food that I couldn't eat. It was maddening. I started feeling really upset about this, but tried my best to get through it. We got in the car and I was silent the whole way home...I was afraid I was going to scream or cry or...start vomiting while my head twisted around in circles?? I wasn't sure and I wasn't about to find out. When we got home I unpacked the groceries, and just started bawling. I began to angrily make the salad, violently chopping up vegetables through my tears. Jaron walked into the kitchen and looked at me like a) He felt incredibly sorry for me and also like b) I was crazy. He didn't even have to ask me what was wrong...he just started to immediately make me a sandwich. I love my husband. He knows how to deal with the pregnant version of me so well...I don't know what I would do without him.

I was not this hungry with Livia. Not even close. Especially in the 1st trimester, when you're so nauseous it's almost impossible to eat. I have already gained 5 lbs this trimester...I didn't gain any weight during my 1st trimester with Liv and only 35 lbs. during the whole pregnancy. I'm terrified of where I am headed (weight-wise) but at the same time, I don't care! This is the only time in my life where I am completely justified to eat anything and everything that I want. I have been eating alot of cereal (which is at least, a little healthy). I go through a family-size box of cereal and a half-gallon of milk every 2-3 days. I was loving Honey Bunches of Oats at first, but now I've moved on to Grape Nuts...and of course, a little bowl of Lucky Charms every now and then. :) Yuuuuummmmmyyyy....

I hope I am not boring you to death with my pregnancy happenings...I am mostly doing this for family who is not nearby to witness all of my pregzilla behavior for themselves. Hahahahaha...lucky them.

So, the countdown to November 5th begins! And yes, I am still planning on going to Disneyland in October. I will be 36-37 weeks pregnant, and my Dr. pretty much already told me "No", but I am NOT going to miss out on seeing my daughter's face the first time she walks into Disneyland. Of course I can't go on any rides, but really, I don't care. I just want to witness the experience through her eyes. If I have to drive there in a bus, I'll do it. Ya'll are crazy if you think otherwise...

Thank you all for ongoing love and support! I promise I'll keep you updated on my next 6 months!! BTW, I am HUGE already for only being 11 weeks along. I looked like this when I was 4-5 months along last time (check out the pic below).

xoxoxoxo,
Brittany